Through The Whim

I am a survival seeker who seeks another survival seeker.

A madman fumbles through a bunch of dirt on the lawn of the highway of Ona Baba Ona as I walk by him. I stand and stare for a while, seeking what he’s seeking. After emptying the last dirtbag, he picks out a can bottle and throws it into the bag thrown on his back. Immediately after, he gaits towards the next bunch of dirt down the lawn. When our eyes meet, he throws me out with his eyes and continues with his business. We are both seekers, seeking something that leads to survival. But I am a different kind of seeker because I am a survival seeker who seeks another survival seeker. I am always curious about what goes on in everyone's mind. I want to know what alters people's thoughts before doing or not doing something.

I walk out of my room to exercise my weak body. It’s been days since I last visited the gym because laziness has found a portion in me to house and cave. But today, I yank it off and decide to build this muscle again. Ramadan is coming. I want to start controlling my mind. 

As I step out of the dusty road that leads to me house, there are birds freely flapping from one building to another. The road is empty and the silence that dwells on the road is different from the usual Sunday silence. I have no idea what is happening. My thoughts are not even thinking about what is happening. I just want to loosen whatever has tightened in my body. It’s about a 30-minute walk from my place to the gym and music, as always, accompanies me. This moment, Seyi Vibes is rendering Kun Faya Kun and I am moving my head as Seyi sharas to awon OG for assisting him with OT, whatever that means. 

As I watch the gym in the distance, my phone dings and of course it’s a message. There’s some sort of attack that strikes my heart when my phone dings during the weekends because I have dedicated those days to being free from anything. I check the message and it’s a notification that the gym won’t be opened. Every bone in my body becomes soft rubber bands and my legs struggle to shift. I feel the eagerness ease out of me. No be wetin I plan be this na. I can’t go back home now because I have given my body enough time to do as it wills. It’s my turn now.

I turn and decide to walk to wherever my legs take me till I get tired. There’s a highway that leads to my house but would take me more than an hour to cycle if legged. Do I have a choice? Yes. I could just go back home. But nah, if I can’t carry heavy things, I should walk heavy walks. At all at all, na im bad pass.

The highway is even emptier. It feels as though I am walking down a long road, down a dungeon because the upfront is foggy and the street lights fade into the fog. One or two cars rev by but in flashes. The road is empty, you don’t need to be careful when driving. Some minutes later, I meet the madman as he goes through his business. My daily move target set on my phone is 200KCAL. At night, I'm certain, the notification would show that I have moved past my goal three times. Don’t allow your body to control you, boy.

Lately, life has been however it comes. I have relaxed into the moment and allowed whatever comes, comes. I am not eating well but I am eating. I am not sleeping for as long as I’d want my eyes to be closed, but I sleep. But I still dey find money so I go use this Ramadan pray against Sapa.🙏🏽

How have you all been?